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   “self-hate”. It felt almost unbearable. I felt this tight fist around my heart again. felt I couldn’t breath. the sound was hurting my ears. I wanted to quit watching. I felt so horrified when you look like you’re not there in the end. yet I felt so close to you and found you so beautiful and true. I thought of the scene with the lipstick and the bread and I thought, “ok now she’s getting to the core. she got rid of so much already, now she’s almost there.” and I was hoping, hoping so strong that in the next video you would feel better and get aware of the wonderful person you are. I realized that in so little time I already really love you and care for you and for what you’re going through.

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